am trapped, tapped
chin out, and bleeding.

am twisting, thrashing
heart out, and needing.

am born, broke
hands out, receding.

am heaving, sighing
near you, near leaving

(early 2008)

original thought by ruzz

The Joy of Light
(c) 2004-2008 i.m. ruzz (all rights reserved).

original thought by ruzz

this thought ripe & well
brings froth n’ foam
from a sea of
loss & longing unlike.

a rapt old man holds
& passes open palm over smoothed
& worn-soft wood
he remembers love.

a bright black hope
lays across the devil’s thigh
& the children weep
for love & solituded birth

we one.

vibrant red & blood sick clays
squeeze between the fat fat
toes of my only love
& we walk these banks together

one a bosom warm & full
one a need so fuller
we’ve a hot spring day
& memories never ours.

we one. i one. nothing.

original thought by ruzz

i have urges to a stream of thought blog. no dates, no timestamps, no archives. no order. just thoughts piled on one another as some larger thought.

then i remember that none of these thoughts matter a whiff.

i deflate.

original thought by ruzz

kumran.:© 2004-2008 i.m. ruzz (all rights reserved)

aint no one wants you when you’re broken down. everyone wants the quarter back after he throws a hail mary. we defy enough just by being alive without all those self-imposed heroics. why can’t you see that? why do we need to bring any more than that with us when we come?

i’ve had a lot of time to think and it’s thickening my skin. deforming me, maybe. but the scar tissue wraps itself around everything and soon i can speak entirely clearly from a cocoon of damaged flesh. the soft pink-white of a lung collapses. contracts. and i throw the ball long.

for you.

 

original thought by ruzz

a man is ruined when the times change but he does not.

original thought by ruzz

y’all remember when this here thing was fun?

what do you reckon it would take to get us back to there?

or could we at all?

original thought by ruzz

i want to like people. i want to have them show themselves as more than my best guesses about them; but they so rarely are or do that it’s easy enough to grow weary of trying.

that’s kinda sad.

original thought by ruzz

i’m in the bath, in the dark, smokin a cigar, drinking red wine..keeping my head above water…call me.

ps: incoming is a new bit where, without attribution you get to see some of the more colorful texts that come to me across the wire.

original thought by ruzz

rule #69: does every question have an answer?

billy: if you wait like an effin church marm.

[ed.] sensationally long pause.

billy: coarse, not every effin question is worth the,
ya know, effin, askin’.

[ed.] of course we  know course is spelled course, billy
insisted.

rule #69: we see.

original thought by ruzz